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Having it All Kinda Sucks: A Provocative Piece

On February 15, reporter and podcast host Amy Westervelt posted a provocative blog to Huffington Post titled Having it All Kinda Sucks. It has since gone viral.

Here are some highlights:

“Doing all of it at the same time was never the idea. By that definition, single working moms have been ‘having it all’ for ages and yet society does not hold the single working mom up as the goal for women everywhere. No, no, that’s just what happens when you’re poor and have no choice. Except actually, that’s what happens to all but the very very rich when you encourage women to work and have children but don’t change any other part of the world they live in.”

“It’s like we all said hey, let’s change the narrative for women, but not change anything else. And then expected women to be so grateful that we’re allowed to have casual sex and work now that we wouldn’t notice that we’re being pushed toward an ever less attainable and less desirable goal.”

“Here’s the truth: You want to have a career and kids? You totally can, but both will suffer. You will never feel like you are devoting enough time to either. You will never feel like you are good enough at either. You will never get time off (at least for the first several years). You will always be choosing between things that need your attention, and you will almost never choose yourself. You will be judged for nearly every move you make and you will never measure up to anyone else’s expectations.”

“The VP at a tech company is no more entitled to maternity leave, job security, and adequate childcare than the waitress at a restaurant. It’s the price of not just allowing, but requiring, mothers to work. Which is what we do today. Working is not a luxury or a choice for the vast majority of mothers and we need to stop acting like it is.”

What are your thoughts?

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