An estimated 10 to 25 percent of all pregnancies will end in miscarriage — and the rate is higher for women over 40. Yet in our society, we barely talk about it.
I took the picture above in Topanga Canyon, LA, after suffering a miscarriage. I used to go to this bridge on a trail behind our house with our wonderful dog Masala and pray pray pray to God to bring me a child. Kiran and I were so excited to be pregnant after many months of trying, but that little life was not to be. Miscarriage is a strange and lonely kind of grieving… It’s not a loss that anyone can truly understand or put a name to, it’s private and quiet. It feels like an emptiness that I’ll always carry around with me in my soul.
We’re so blessed to have two beautiful boys now thanks to IVF, but the journey here, coping with infertility, was one of the most trying of my life. I was incredibly lucky to have Kiran’s steadfast love and strength to get me through. I never lost sight of the fact that one day, somehow, in some way, I would be a mother.
Now that I’m here on the other side, I am beyond grateful to be able to be a parent, the most profound spiritual experience of my life. I bow down to the lessons I learned from infertility — patience, faith, and courage. And I’m so compassionate to other women going through difficulty conceiving or carrying a child. I am standing with you in your pain.